Uncle demands that 26-year-old niece cover up tattoos at family BBQ despite the 90-degree weather, he accuses her of setting a bad example for the kids: "It's July. I'm not putting on jeans and a hoodie"

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 25, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Somehow, tattoos are still considered by many to be unsightly, unprofessional, and downright offensive. There was a time when it was impossible to get hired by a good company if they knew you had ink on your skin. Later, tattoos were relegated to cool hipster baristas. However, these days, you can spot CEOs with a full sleeve peaking through their work shirt and HR managers with dainty, black-and-white butterflies on the back of their neck when they pull their hair up. Most people understand now that tattoos are just an adornment, a personal form of expression, and they have no bearing on anyone's skills or values.
Our story today doesn't take place in a professional setting; instead, we observe the day's events through the eyes of a young woman attending a family BBQ. When she is approached by her uncle, she is surprised to hear that he is put off by her outfit that happens to expose some of her ink. He then demands that she change into clothing with more coverage, and she refuses, leading to tension at the cook out.

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  • 01

    AITA for not covering my tattoos at a family BBQ after my uncle told me I was being inappropriate?

    "He told me I was setting a bad example"
    via nautiluz56 from Getty Images Pro

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So this turned into a bigger deal than I expected and now I'm kinda wondering if I was out of line.
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 03
    I'm 26F and I have a few tattoos one on my thigh, one on my calf, and a small one on my stomach that says
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 04
    "1997". Nothing graphic or wild, just regular tattoos. My family knows I have them ive had them for years and no one's ever really said anything.
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 05
    Anyway, we had a BBQ at my grandparents' house last weekend. It was super hot out, so I wore denim
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 06
    shorts and a black crop top. Totally normal, not see-through, not anything wild just something comfy for 90- degree weather.
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10532092928
    via halfpoint

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    At one point, my uncle (my dad's older brother) pulled me aside and said I should've "put more thought
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 09
    into what I was wearing," because my tattoos were "inappropriate for a family gathering," especially with "kids running around." I honestly
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 10
    thought he was joking, but nope. He told me I was "setting a bad example" for my younger cousins and should at
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 11
    least go put on something that covered my stomach and legs.
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 12
    I just kind of laughed and said, "It's July, I'm not putting on jeans and a hoodie because I have tattoos." He
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 13
    didn't say anything else, but he was clearly ped and didn't really talk to me after that.
    via u/RoxyNewO

  • Unless she had bad words on her body, asking her to cover up for the sake of the children is uncalled for. 

  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10532093184
    via lisegagne from Getty Images Signature

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    Now my dad is saying I could've just thrown on a T-shirt to avoid drama and that I shouldn't "make everything
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 16
    a battle." But like... I wasn't making anything a battle? I was just dressed like literally every other woman my age in the summer.
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10532093440
    via SAULO LEITE from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    I didn't think it was that deep, So yeah. AITA for not covering up?
    via u/RoxyNewO
  • 19
    Mysticfluffy95 Your uncle is gross. He is the issue not you. The bad example is him.
    via u/Mysticfluffy95
  • 20
    RoxyNewO OP Should I bring temporary tattoos next time for the kids? AA
    via u/RoxyNewO

  • This is the kind of harmless rebelliousness I can get behind.

  • 21
    Mrsanjuro75 NTA. You didn't make this a battle. Your uncle did by policing what women in the family wear. He's shortsighted and entitled
    via u/Mrsanjuro75
  • 22
    Pewpewgilist I am a man, and the number of men who pick fights and then say "why are you making this a battle" when a woman fights back drives me nuts.
    via u/Pewpewgilist
  • 23
    Bella_Glows NTA. Is your uncle living in the 1950s? Getting tattoos is insanely common these days, and none of your tattoos were offensive. He should get over it.
    via u/Bella_Glows
  • 24
    StanVsPeter Her dad is an a h le too. Its more important to protect Uncle's feelings than for his daughter to be dresses comfortably for the weather.
    via u/StanVsPeter
  • 25
    OriginallronDan Hard NTA. I'm in my mid 60s, so I'm probably about your uncle's age. I've seen teenagers with tattoos. I've seen people in their 90s with tattoos.
    via u/OriginallronDan
  • 26
    There's nothing wrong with your tattoos. There's definitely something wrong with your uncle. Him not talking
    via u/OriginallronDan
  • 27
    to you for the rest of the BBQ was probably the best thing that could happen to you there.
    via u/OriginallronDan
  • 28
    ETA: In case anyone is wondering, I don't have any tattoos. Both of my sons do.
    via u/OriginallronDan

Tags

relationship advice family drama summer Female Empowerment adulting niece family feud relationships tattoos parenting uncle entitled family red flag entitled people vacation
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